Another 100 Reasons Why I Love Racheal Yap
Posted on: Saturday, May 30, 2009
Posted at: 4:44 AM
1. you drink coffee 
2. you won't drink coffee when i told you i won't kiss you 
3. you loved the reasons i wrote in hospital 
4. you pin up the post its notes i wrote for you  
5. you pin those notes on your notice board 
6. you wrote me reasons why you love me on your blog 
7. you study for your exam 
8. you are studying taxation now
9. you stayed up with me all night in the library 
10. you watched mulan 2 on youtube 
11. you smiled when i told you to 
12. you woke up late 
13. you wished me luck for my test 
14. you got drunk last friday 
15. you cried when you got drunk 
16. you felt bad you couldn't stay in hospital with me 
17. you paid for parking
18. you bought me fries 
19. you haven't finish copying my songs 
20. you won't stop kissing me 
21. you like sour sweets 
22. you fed me hello panda biscuits 
23. you were almost late for your chinese test 
24. you went for your chinese test 
25. you helped call shawn about the house 
26. you studied with your friends in the library 
27. you went for japanese food with me 
28. you don't like spring onions 
29. you can be quite picky with food 
30. you asked khai to help plug in your laptop charger 
31. you bring your laptop to the library 
32. you talked to me online though i was beside you
33. you asked for an extra ear piece from rebecca 
34. you forgot to tell angel rebecca had an extra ear piece 
35. you messaged nigel to ask him to bring an extra ear piece for angel 
36. you drove back to take your contact lenses out 
37. you went back to the library after that 
38. you offered to pick nigel up from o'connors 
39. you offered to drive him home 
40. you ate the nugget i fed you
41. you made porridge twice in a week for me 
42. you make the best tasting porridge 
43. you always ask if the vege is cooked 
44. you always forget what you want to say 
45. you always say 'good question'
46. you say that whenever you can't answer a question 
47. you also say that when you're unsure 
48. you clear your throat 
49. you sent shayma off with me 
50. you want to go to singapore 
51. you wanted to surprise me in singapore 
52. you ask me to dress nice on monday 
53. you lent angel your converter 
54. you borrowed the electronic dictionary from your friend 
55. you went to your friend's house to pass her notes 
56. you attempted to look for your friend at subway where she works
57. you always eat the tuna sandwich at subway 
58. you eat your subway sandwich with honey mustard sauce 
59. you ate jacelyn's curry 
60. you eat the porridge you cook with korean chilli 
61. you don't want me to sit alone in the library 
62. you always shower before you eat 
63. you pin up the reasons i wrote for you on your notice board 
64. you introduced me to your high school friend 
65. you went to sexpo with me 
66. you went in the sex train with me 
67. you went to visit vanessa with me 
68. you bought chocolates and magazines for her 
69. you tried to help nigel with his calculator
70. you always look out for my piercing 
71. you get irritated when your ex calls 
72. you speak to your ex in cantonese 
73. you eat caesar salad 
74. you fed me gummies at the sexpo 
75. you offer to take over the wheel  
76. you text me when you hear sirens and know i can hear them
77. you would assure me that you're with me 
78. you prefer hugging me than stitch 
79. you watched "she's the man" with me on my laptop 
80. you watched 'shallow hal' with me on my laptop 
81. you taught me how to make french toast 
82. you let me beat the eggs 
83. you let me melt the butter
84. you wash the dishes after meals 
85. you ask if i like your waist 
86. you ask if i saw you in a dress 
87. you want to give up on your taxation
88. you didn't when i told you not to 
89. you finish the coffee in your flat 
90. you have 4 empty plastic bottles on your table 
91. you took my heater 
92. you use my heater 
93. you pull the hand brakes up for me 
94. you cringe when you see my bruises 
95. you make sure i got space on the bed 
96. you respond when i call you 'baby'  
97. you got no preference on what pet name i call you
98. you tell me i'm awesome 
99. you are awesome 
100. you are my beautiful sexy love!

Disappointing
Posted on: Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Posted at: 1:56 AM
today,
i found out the truth about people.
it's disappointing.
but i know for sure
that no matter what happens,
i'd still go the distance for you all.
cos' when i don't,
i'm not myself.
and life's too short to be someone i'm not.
but i truly believe,
that one day,
you'll all see the difference i make.

thank you darling,
for standing by me.

Posted on: Sunday, May 24, 2009
Posted at: 2:21 AM
you are the light beyond the darkness
you are the warmth beyond the cold
you are the laughter beyond the cries
you are my hope beyond my helplessness...

thank you darling... i love you.

That's It
Posted on: Friday, May 22, 2009
Posted at: 1:24 AM
5 pills every morning.
driving me nuts.
the worse thing is,
no matter what i swallow,
nothing changes. nothing will change.
the pain still stays.
it never goes, it never leaves me alone.

now everytime i close my eyes
everytime i sleep
i'm haunted
drips
needles
syringes
pills
machines that never stop beeping or making annoying noises
the plug that weakens my hand
the ambulance
they haunt me
they scare me

i'm tired.
tired of pretending that i'm ok.
tired of pretending i don't feel the pain.
tired of telling myself things are going to be ok.
tired of thinking that it will heal.

i fall asleep alone
haunted
and wake up realising
i'm still alone

that's it.
i've given up hope.
no more pills.
just let the pain kill me. now.

.

Another 50 Reasons Why I Love Racheal Yap
Posted on: Monday, May 11, 2009
Posted at: 2:27 PM
1. you didn't comment on the previous reasons
2. you have an ipod
3. you hardly use your ipod
4. you helped me decide on which ipod to buy
5. you told me which one was more worth it
6. you kept comparing the price here to the one back home
7. you felt guilty
8. you thought it cost a lot
9. you felt better when i told you i am happy with my choice
10. you said its ok as long as i'm happy
11. you don't like it when we sleep far apart
12. you would ask me in the morning why i slept so far away
13. you feel funny when we sleep at our separate homes now
14. you didn't mind me getting another piercing
15. you didn't notice my new piercing at first
16. you like my new piercing
17. you are always afraid you'd hit my piercing
18. you never hit my piercing on purpose
19. you love dogs
20. you always sayang the dogs at home
21. you tell me not to be fierce to the dogs
22. you want to own a dog next time
23. you don't like it when pappin scratch your legs
24. you always ask why pappin is so hyper
25. you passed me my asthma pump
26. you always pat my back whenever i cough
27. you will ask me if i'm ok
28. you don't like it when i mention lung cancer
29. you ask me when my assignment is due
30. you pin up your fringe
31. you say its oily
32. you put the pin in your mouth
33. you pin up my hair
34. you say my hair is not thick enough
35. you will still pin up my hair
36. you laugh at nigel all the time
37. you claim you're crazy when you laugh too much
38. you like the dancing scene from 'white chicks'
39. you watched 'hot chicks' with me
40. you needed me to explain what happened
41. you weren't paying attention
42. you know what songs to play in the car
43. you ask me if i want to change songs
44. you won't change the song when i sing a long to them
45. you like the story of the lighthouse keeper
46. you sleep with the lights off in your room now
47. you are willing to sleep with the lights off at my place
48. you didn't know i sleep without light
49. you got a call from your ex
50. you tell me you're happy with what you have now

Another 50 Reasons Why I Love Racheal Yap
Posted on: Sunday, May 10, 2009
Posted at: 7:24 PM
1. you are touched by my reasons
2. you said i looked serious when typing the previous reasons
3. you say you will know what i'm typing next time i look so serious
4. you feed me gummies while i'm driving
5. you ask me which coloured gummy i like best
6. you will then feed me the purple ones
7. you claim you are addicted to the gummies
8. you don't mind me taking your cigarettes
9. you spin your pen during service
10. you went to church with me
11. you are scared to go to the library toilet by yourself
12. you lied on my lap
13. you fell asleep when you lied on my lap
14. you eat the salad from aroma cafe
15. you were there when i cried
16. you sat beside me when i was crying
17. you wiped my tears away
18. you eat sausage roll while waiting for me to finish work
19. you wait for me to finish work
17. you studied at the food court with me
18. you studied by yourself while waiting for me to finish work
19. you put up pictures of you and me on your notice board
20. you took my notice board pins
21. you used my notice board pins
22. you pin up notes i write on post its for you on your notice board
23. you still keep the 3 roses i folded using fererro roce chocolate wrappers
24. you always smile back when i draw a smiley face on your notes
25. you would always draw a smiley face next to the on i drew
26. you agreed to let razeen use your car
27. you let me drive them there instead
28. you said i could take my time though razeen was waiting
29. you told me i'm your top priority
30. you didn't mind the dent in the car
31. you didn't blame me for anything
32. you said its ok as long as i'm safe
33. you told me what 'ffk' is
34. you trust razeen with your car
35. you pin up the 'phantom of the opera' ticket on your notice board
36. you thank me for filling up petrol in your car
37. you tell me that i don't have to fill up petrol
38. you prayed with me at church
39. you stood up during worship
40. you webcammed with your parents
41. you looked for me immediately after you were done with webcamming
42. you watched 'white chicks' in the library
43. you told me you were stressed when you were not
44. you told me you were studying
45. you were actually watching videos
46. you didn't know why you didn't tell me the truth
47. you apologized for lying
48. you promised not to keep things from me again
49. you have been eating more
50. you lighten my heart whenever you laugh

Mummy
Posted on:
Posted at: 6:57 PM
today is mother's day.
tribute was paid to mothers today at church.
thoughts of my mum filled my mind.
its only then i realise how much i miss her.

mummy,
i doubt you'll read this, but i want to let everyone out there know that you're amazing.
you are the most remarkable person i know with the extroadinary power make me be a better person.
i know there are times, many times, that we don't get along.
but through the tough times, you were always there for me.
i may complain a lot about things, but you must know,
given another choice to start over, i'd still want you as my mother.
i remember when i was young, i refused to go to the doctors and i hated taking my meds, though i still do.
and i would complain and complain and complain, saying how sucky it is to be me, with what i have, being born the way i am.
you didn't scold me, you didn't nag at me.
all you said was, "girl, you know that if there is a way, mummy would switch places with you anytime".
you are awesome mum.
your sacrifices for this family, for me, has not been unnoticed.
you are truly one of a kind and your love, has given me so much in my life that i would like to say
thank you.
you are one of a kind. to me, you're always perfect.
i love you mummy.
happy mothers' day.

born to make YOU happy
Posted on: Saturday, May 09, 2009
Posted at: 10:18 PM
(i don't know how to live without your love)
i was born to make YOU happy
(cause' you're the only one within my heart)
i was born to make YOU happy
always and forever you and me
that's the way our life should be
(i don't know how to live without your love)
i was born to make YOU happy