I Need You... Please
Posted on: Friday, January 12, 2007
Posted at: 7:32 PM
Posted at: 7:32 PM
It was supposed to be set
No matter what happens
It wasn't suppose to change
But it did even no matter how hard I begged
I looked forward to it
Hoping that it'll come soon
Watching the days go by
Every night I pray under the moon
It helped lessen the load
It helped me go through each day
It helped me think of the outcome
No one's helping, not even Mum
Please save me
Before I collapse
I want to make ends meet
I think of it even when I sleep
Please tell me what to do
I can't figure it out
It's driving me crazy
How I wish you'll know what I'm all about
Please stop torturing me
I can't take it no more
It's draining on my spirit
I'd rather hit my head against the wall
Please stop lying to me
The truth is all I need
I might not be able to handle the truth
But I'll find a way around it
Please dry my tears
It upsets me not being able to be close to you
I want to be there for good and bad
I don't want to let go of what we had
Please clear my doubts
I'm just really confused
What do you want from me?
I just feel used
It doesn't help when things don't go my way
Plans are ruined everyday
Disappointment fiills me deep
There goes the highlight of my week
Drenched in the rain
You should think I'm mad
Having to run in the wet weather
I just wish the rain would wash away my pain
I wish you're here with me
You don't know how much I need your company
Only you can help me feel better
Somehow I wish my life and death matters
I need answers
I need to feel at ease
I need to be numb
I need you... Please
No matter what happens
It wasn't suppose to change
But it did even no matter how hard I begged
I looked forward to it
Hoping that it'll come soon
Watching the days go by
Every night I pray under the moon
It helped lessen the load
It helped me go through each day
It helped me think of the outcome
No one's helping, not even Mum
Please save me
Before I collapse
I want to make ends meet
I think of it even when I sleep
Please tell me what to do
I can't figure it out
It's driving me crazy
How I wish you'll know what I'm all about
Please stop torturing me
I can't take it no more
It's draining on my spirit
I'd rather hit my head against the wall
Please stop lying to me
The truth is all I need
I might not be able to handle the truth
But I'll find a way around it
Please dry my tears
It upsets me not being able to be close to you
I want to be there for good and bad
I don't want to let go of what we had
Please clear my doubts
I'm just really confused
What do you want from me?
I just feel used
It doesn't help when things don't go my way
Plans are ruined everyday
Disappointment fiills me deep
There goes the highlight of my week
Drenched in the rain
You should think I'm mad
Having to run in the wet weather
I just wish the rain would wash away my pain
I wish you're here with me
You don't know how much I need your company
Only you can help me feel better
Somehow I wish my life and death matters
I need answers
I need to feel at ease
I need to be numb
I need you... Please
I Dream
Posted on: Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Posted at: 11:15 AM
Posted at: 11:15 AM
Why do we dream?
Can't really see why
We sometimes do that to kill time
As strange as it seems
I heard from somewhere
That a dream
Is a wish your heart makes
To get there, I must do whatever it takes
Everyone has dreams
They all want something with all their hearts
The difference is if they take action
To grasp it and spread their wings
I have a dream
I've been putting in my 100%
Taking it one step at a time
Even if I have to dirty my bare hands
I dream
That one day I'll get there
That my parents will be proud
Of what I'm all about
I dream
That I'll make it
That I'll score
I'll never ask for anything more
I dream
That you're happy
That you smile every second
And not know how deep I've fallen
I dream
That one day you'll understand
That you know how bad I want it
I don't mind just doing my bit
I dream
That someday I'll be heard
That my voice will take me places
And meet many new faces
I dream
That peace prevails
That there's no war
Politics spoils everything, what for?
I dream
That I can fulfill my promises
That I'll keep my word
To myself and to the rest of the world
I dream
That I'll find you
That things will fall into place
For now, I got no clue
I dream
That you won't turn away
That you'll stay with me
And ease the pain beneath
I dream
That you know
How I really feel inside
And not block the way to where I want to go
Can't you see
What I want to be
You take away that chance
Without even taking a second glance
Is it me?
How can it be?
It fucking sucks
To know my 100% is not enough
I'm a strong girl
But I wanna let it out
I don't want to pretend it's ok
What other price do you want me to pay?
Clearing trash
Staying back late
Breathing ash
Decreasing my state
I've done all
I respond to calls
I'll do anything to be within the 4 walls
But you're not there to break my fall
I refuse to believe
Refuse to let it go
Refuse to move on
Refuse to admit defeat
But what else can I do?
What can I say?
What did I do wrong?
I've been such a fool
Taken in by your lies
Bribed by your kindness
Softened by your words
Amused by your curses
And all for what
To see your smiles
For something so priceless
I get myself emotionally and psychologically fucked
What hurts the most is I wasn't there
In your mind in your thoughts
Now I'm going nowhere
To get there now, what are the odds?
It hurts the most
Is to end up with nothing
I've gotten so close
But things are so unclear
It's so near yet so far
I'd say fuck that shit
Fuck the obstacles
I don't care if in this life I don't fit
You lied
You short-changed me
Sure, I enjoy the ride
But I've never been part of you
Where do I go from here?
Holding on means I must go back on my words
And be something I told mysself I never want to be
How can I ever move forward
I can take the pain
I can take the tears
I can take you drowned my efforts in vain
I can take you creating more fear
I see you everywhere
Everywhere in my head
Dreaming about you everyday
I don't want to give it away
I don't want to live on
Knowing what could've been
For all the things I've not seen
I want to see it before I'm gone
Can't really see why
We sometimes do that to kill time
As strange as it seems
I heard from somewhere
That a dream
Is a wish your heart makes
To get there, I must do whatever it takes
Everyone has dreams
They all want something with all their hearts
The difference is if they take action
To grasp it and spread their wings
I have a dream
I've been putting in my 100%
Taking it one step at a time
Even if I have to dirty my bare hands
I dream
That one day I'll get there
That my parents will be proud
Of what I'm all about
I dream
That I'll make it
That I'll score
I'll never ask for anything more
I dream
That you're happy
That you smile every second
And not know how deep I've fallen
I dream
That one day you'll understand
That you know how bad I want it
I don't mind just doing my bit
I dream
That someday I'll be heard
That my voice will take me places
And meet many new faces
I dream
That peace prevails
That there's no war
Politics spoils everything, what for?
I dream
That I can fulfill my promises
That I'll keep my word
To myself and to the rest of the world
I dream
That I'll find you
That things will fall into place
For now, I got no clue
I dream
That you won't turn away
That you'll stay with me
And ease the pain beneath
I dream
That you know
How I really feel inside
And not block the way to where I want to go
Can't you see
What I want to be
You take away that chance
Without even taking a second glance
Is it me?
How can it be?
It fucking sucks
To know my 100% is not enough
I'm a strong girl
But I wanna let it out
I don't want to pretend it's ok
What other price do you want me to pay?
Clearing trash
Staying back late
Breathing ash
Decreasing my state
I've done all
I respond to calls
I'll do anything to be within the 4 walls
But you're not there to break my fall
I refuse to believe
Refuse to let it go
Refuse to move on
Refuse to admit defeat
But what else can I do?
What can I say?
What did I do wrong?
I've been such a fool
Taken in by your lies
Bribed by your kindness
Softened by your words
Amused by your curses
And all for what
To see your smiles
For something so priceless
I get myself emotionally and psychologically fucked
What hurts the most is I wasn't there
In your mind in your thoughts
Now I'm going nowhere
To get there now, what are the odds?
It hurts the most
Is to end up with nothing
I've gotten so close
But things are so unclear
It's so near yet so far
I'd say fuck that shit
Fuck the obstacles
I don't care if in this life I don't fit
You lied
You short-changed me
Sure, I enjoy the ride
But I've never been part of you
Where do I go from here?
Holding on means I must go back on my words
And be something I told mysself I never want to be
How can I ever move forward
I can take the pain
I can take the tears
I can take you drowned my efforts in vain
I can take you creating more fear
I see you everywhere
Everywhere in my head
Dreaming about you everyday
I don't want to give it away
I don't want to live on
Knowing what could've been
For all the things I've not seen
I want to see it before I'm gone
Non-Existance
Posted on: Monday, January 08, 2007
Posted at: 10:28 AM
Posted at: 10:28 AM
Playing the song over and over again in my head...
Am doing my best to listen to what it says.
Doesn't seem to be working.
Why?
I have no idea.
Telling myself to hold on...
But i'm losing my grip.
I don't know how long I can take.
You think you're tired? You think you're stressed?
You have no idea how it's like.
You ain't the one who's about to leave....
Your job.... your beliefs.... yourself.... your life.
I know I'm not alone... but it feels so.
It feels like the end. There's nowhere else to go.
What am I to do now?
I gotta plan. But I don't want to!
It means I gotta let it go. But I can't!
Feel so alone.
Who will take my hand?
It feels like the end. I'm about to give in.
No one's really here. It's hard to stay strong. It's tiring.
Nothing can be said and done.
The truth hurts.
It's so near yet so far. I wish it won't disappear.
Please don't close the door. I wanna fight and defend!
Holding onto something that seems impossible.
There's no other way.
I believe. But things are changing my destiny.
Is it really meant to be?
I can't hold on much longer. I growing weaker and weaker.
Hate it when people lie. Hate it when you don't mean what you say.
Yes, HATE. I don't care if it's a strong word to use.
It's not fair!
You bring me down. But you're not doing anything to bring me up.
I love to live life. I love to fly high.
But you're not helping!... you're not.
I.wanna.live.not.exist.
Am doing my best to listen to what it says.
Doesn't seem to be working.
Why?
I have no idea.
Telling myself to hold on...
But i'm losing my grip.
I don't know how long I can take.
You think you're tired? You think you're stressed?
You have no idea how it's like.
You ain't the one who's about to leave....
Your job.... your beliefs.... yourself.... your life.
I know I'm not alone... but it feels so.
It feels like the end. There's nowhere else to go.
What am I to do now?
I gotta plan. But I don't want to!
It means I gotta let it go. But I can't!
Feel so alone.
Who will take my hand?
It feels like the end. I'm about to give in.
No one's really here. It's hard to stay strong. It's tiring.
Nothing can be said and done.
The truth hurts.
It's so near yet so far. I wish it won't disappear.
Please don't close the door. I wanna fight and defend!
Holding onto something that seems impossible.
There's no other way.
I believe. But things are changing my destiny.
Is it really meant to be?
I can't hold on much longer. I growing weaker and weaker.
Hate it when people lie. Hate it when you don't mean what you say.
Yes, HATE. I don't care if it's a strong word to use.
It's not fair!
You bring me down. But you're not doing anything to bring me up.
I love to live life. I love to fly high.
But you're not helping!... you're not.
I.wanna.live.not.exist.
It's All About You
Posted on: Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Posted at: 11:38 PM
Posted at: 11:38 PM
It's amazing how time can change change things but not change things at the same time.
I stilll remember the day when I packed up my bags and headed to the place where I had the time of my life.
My stuff were everywhere on my bed. I can't pack for nuts. So Mummy was constantly nagging at me to make sure I've got everything done properly. It was the first time I was away from home for so long. I felt really uncomfortable at first. But I'm glad that I did in the end.
It was at that place I met her. It's amazing how blind I was. That I didn't see her around before. That's how it works. You don't know what you got till you look at it in the eye.
Those days changed many things. On how I felt about myself. How I felt about my friends. I made new friends and I made up my mind to make a difference.
She wasn't like anyone else I know. The only reason why she and I were working together, was cos' we had to. Part of the rules. I didn't think much of it. I felt that was enough. But after I left, things changed.
I missed how it was. Even if it was on a professional level. I'd rather we work together than not know each other at all. I wished things would turn back. That I'd be around again. But life goes on, I had to. So did she.
Miracle struck when we met again. The day I remember most vividly was the day she was in a white dress. She had a tiara on. Curled hair. Man I swear she looked like a princess. Slick, smooth, sophisticated and with that glowing aura. I knew she was different. She was special. She was one in a million.
Till now, I don't know why a girl like her would wanna hang out with a girl like me. There are times I won't understand what she just said. Simply cos' she's always smarter and better at what she do.
I've still yet to thank her for everything she's given me. I love hanging out with her though I'm often the fool. She deserves to have nothing but the best. And I can gaurantee with my life that she'll make it BIG at whatever she wants to do.
Ok... I give up. The truth is, I promised someone that I'll blog about her today. I've racked my brains for the whole night and I have no idea what to blog about. I didn't want it to be like a regular blog entry where I tell everyone what I did today. For her, it's gotta be a lot better and special than that.
Just when I ran out of ideas, I was watching this TV show. It taught me something really strange. But it just might work. If you don't wanna lost someone, or you've lost someone and you wanna find them back, think of 10 things about that person... over and over again. So here goes....
1) She's tall
2) She's as pretty as 999 roses
3) She's as smart as 10x of me
4) She's the master of pink
5) She's the best at fashion
6) She loves sushi
7) She cooks great spaghetti
8) She likes credit cards
9) She has many emergencies to settle
10) She fancies boys
There. Just for you Kristie. It's all about you.
I stilll remember the day when I packed up my bags and headed to the place where I had the time of my life.
My stuff were everywhere on my bed. I can't pack for nuts. So Mummy was constantly nagging at me to make sure I've got everything done properly. It was the first time I was away from home for so long. I felt really uncomfortable at first. But I'm glad that I did in the end.
It was at that place I met her. It's amazing how blind I was. That I didn't see her around before. That's how it works. You don't know what you got till you look at it in the eye.
Those days changed many things. On how I felt about myself. How I felt about my friends. I made new friends and I made up my mind to make a difference.
She wasn't like anyone else I know. The only reason why she and I were working together, was cos' we had to. Part of the rules. I didn't think much of it. I felt that was enough. But after I left, things changed.
I missed how it was. Even if it was on a professional level. I'd rather we work together than not know each other at all. I wished things would turn back. That I'd be around again. But life goes on, I had to. So did she.
Miracle struck when we met again. The day I remember most vividly was the day she was in a white dress. She had a tiara on. Curled hair. Man I swear she looked like a princess. Slick, smooth, sophisticated and with that glowing aura. I knew she was different. She was special. She was one in a million.
Till now, I don't know why a girl like her would wanna hang out with a girl like me. There are times I won't understand what she just said. Simply cos' she's always smarter and better at what she do.
I've still yet to thank her for everything she's given me. I love hanging out with her though I'm often the fool. She deserves to have nothing but the best. And I can gaurantee with my life that she'll make it BIG at whatever she wants to do.
Ok... I give up. The truth is, I promised someone that I'll blog about her today. I've racked my brains for the whole night and I have no idea what to blog about. I didn't want it to be like a regular blog entry where I tell everyone what I did today. For her, it's gotta be a lot better and special than that.
Just when I ran out of ideas, I was watching this TV show. It taught me something really strange. But it just might work. If you don't wanna lost someone, or you've lost someone and you wanna find them back, think of 10 things about that person... over and over again. So here goes....
1) She's tall
2) She's as pretty as 999 roses
3) She's as smart as 10x of me
4) She's the master of pink
5) She's the best at fashion
6) She loves sushi
7) She cooks great spaghetti
8) She likes credit cards
9) She has many emergencies to settle
10) She fancies boys
There. Just for you Kristie. It's all about you.